Hey, Diablo fans! You know how Necromancers are all about raising the dead, right? Well, Blizzard’s latest patch notes are a resurrection ritual for game mechanics. Let’s dig into this graveyard of updates, shall we?
Section 1: Affixes – The Gift That Keeps on Giving (to Your Minions)
Ah, Affixes. Those little tags that make your minions slightly less useless. Blizzard decided to combine all the “Thorns” Affixes into one: “Minions Inherit Thorns.” That’s right, your skeletal warriors, mages, and that weird golem you keep in the basement now all inherit your prickly personality. And as if that wasn’t enough, they’ve added a new Affix: “Minions Inherit Critical Strike Chance.” Finally, your minions can be as critical of your enemies as you are of your minions.
Section 2: Shields – Not Just a Fashion Statement
Remember when shields were as useful as a screen door on a submarine? Well, not anymore. Now they come with Cooldown Reduction and an Armor Value determined by their Item Power. It’s like giving your pet rock a college education and a job.
Section 3: Blood Orbs – The Snacks That Heal Back
Blood Orbs are no longer just for your narcissistic self-healing. Now they also heal your minions for 15% of your Maximum Life. It’s like throwing a bone to a dog, if the dog was a reanimated corpse and the bone was a pulsating orb of your own life essence.
Section 4: Skills and Passives – Because Complexity is Fun, Right?
From “Prime Army of the Dead” to “Transfusion,” the skill changes are as numerous as the ways you can die in this game. The standout? “Death’s Defense” now gives your minions Armor and Resistance to All Elements. Because the only thing better than an undead army is an undead army in full plate armor.
Section 5: Unique Items – For When You Want to Feel Special
Unique items got a facelift too. “Blood Artisan’s Cuirass” now replaces Total Armor with bonus Maximum Life. Because who needs armor when you can just have more blood, am I right?
All Patched Up
The Necromancer changes are as twisted and complex as the labyrinthine catacombs you’ll be exploring. But hey, at least your minions will be happier. And remember, a happy minion is a minion that’s less likely to turn on you when you least expect it.