Prodigy Game Magazine, issue 2

on December 19, 2008 - 3588 Views

FUN FACT: Did you know that its almost been a year since the Nazi-zine post?’

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for… the PGM is back.

We here at the ProdigyGM would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Christmas is the time to show love, because God showed love to us by bringing him his son Jesus Christ. Now that was the good news, here is the bad news. We will not be providing a January 2008 issue. Issue #3’s planned release date is in February or March 2009. We are strong believers that January of 2009 would not be a very good month for online game magazines.

I think that’s a bit obvious, but with the Prodigy Game Magazine, mistakes like this are just natural. Ironically, the second issue of Gnazine actually had a similar goof:

I want to see who can make the best screen saver before January 15, 2007!

But what’s next? Awesomeness Watch, that is! Awesome GMC members get their very own section in the PGM (magazine): and this time, it’s Team[Logo]. Free logos for people, apparently:

They do it in a timely manner, but after reading this issue, it may take a bit longer, lmao!

Har har har, lmao!

They created the new logo that we are using on our site and in this magazine.

While it’s true that the logo (which looks decent) is in their website, I can’t seem to find it anywhere in the magazine. But that put aside, what do we have next?

FLAME WAR!

Today’s victim is Tdub. Tdub is one of the biggest noobs ever! His games are meant to be “complex” but they are just horribly made. If he thinks he is jigsaw, he is not. This noob has called so many people noobs they there needs to be a lower category for a noob. Shame on you Tdub! Shame on you!

Wow, we’re already off to a great start.

It would be best if you disconnected your internet, so no one would know you exist. I am not just playing this time, I am dead serious! If I was the president of the United States, I would probaly [sic] use executive powers to ban you from all social networks, chatrooms, and forums.

I’m sure a lot of people think the same about you, Nate.

Interview Game Makers is a joke site. Just because of that site, I will not be interviewing anyone in this magazine.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

The competitions gives out money, but a game that is sold commercially is probably better. I’m sorry for getting you alls hopes up, but Super Mario V. Sega will most likely not be on this list. All fangames are illegal, so watch it.  If you did not know that, then disreguard [sic] this update, because you are too nooby to even be considered. Thanks.

What??

Next, we have a preview of Crime Life 3, a GTA clone. I think you know what it’s made in.

I wish we could play as the police, because shooting the cops seems very unpatriotic.

I’m sure Nate will like the real Grand Theft Auto.

Sakisa [the game’s creator] is even working on a railroad system, hopefully we can get killed by the train, lol. 😀

lol 😀

The game is pretty funny. Killing innocent civilians is hilarious…

So it’s OK to kill innocent civilians, but not cops? You have a twisted mind, Nate.

But now:

CLIP ART!!!

It’s the PGM 2009 AWARDS.

…Whatever.

At this point, I have to tell you about this awesome platform game. George W. Bush: Quest for Oil and Glory.

Thats [sic] not Change! Thats [sic] more The Same!

Welcome to one of our new sections. This section was inspired by Joe Biden’s speech during the 2008 Presidential election. This section is essentially to show GM Games that resemble tutorial edits, other GM Games, and low amount of features. We know this may sound rude, but the truth must be told. This is a mini-review for games that do not show change.

I think you’ve already guessed – the game I mentioned above is the poor target in this section. Basically, here’s what they think is wrong with it:

  • Resembles a Super Mario example
    You know, it’s a platformer game. That’s the point.
  • Shows the corrupt media.

And then there’s “stolen music from Green Day” and “music does not loop”. Yeah, those are real problems with it.

By now, I’m wondering when this section is going to feature some ProdigyGM games. I think they’d be great examples for the section, no?

OFFENSIVE CODING (WITH NOOBWARE)

Here is another section, kinda like flamewar, but its codes that are meant to offend people, yeah, we don’t care. Check out the two codings:

I’m not sure if we care either.

1.
if (Adam+Eve) {
human+=1;
}
if (Alice+Eve)
{
hot=true;
}
if (Adam+Steve)
{
human+=0;
game_end();
score-=score;
health-=health/4;
exit;
}
2.
if rod_blago=il_governor
{
corruption=true
}
3.
if snowing=true
{
ditch_school=true;
grades-=letter;
}

I actually had to indent these snippets of “code” myself. Why did I even bother?

This issue will be seen as the most offensive issue, but we don’t care. lol 😀 . Also, Merry Christmas. We will be on a long vacation, so you will have to wait a while for the next issue.

We don’t care either, lol 😀

Don’t worry, we’ll be waiting patiently.

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15 Responses to Prodigy Game Magazine, issue 2

  1. MMORPGguy says:

    So I’m not the only one he MSN’d?

    I hope this guy has some kind of epiphany or something and makes a new account thing… He’s become something of a celebrity for his stupidity.

  2. Phil Gamble says:

    So I’m not the only one with him blocked on MSN then 😛

  3. Mattthew_H says:

    Yeah, apparently I was an Asshole, so he did the favor for me, and blocked me! YAY! 🙂

  4. NAL says:

    “I guess around about the next time I go on Windows Live, Nate will be there, telling me again, how much of a non-noob he is and try and show me his game”

    He did that to me too. Until I blocked him. 🙂

  5. SunnyKatt says:

    “she posted the…”

    What? I’m a male. That was sure awkward reading. But thanks for the mention (I guess), prodigygm. XD

  6. Mattthew_H says:

    I guess around about the next time I go on Windows Live, Nate will be there, telling me again, how much of a non-noob he is and try and show me his game, as well as the newest issue of his …ummm….. ‘magazine’.

    He really doesn’t know why people hate him, does he?

    Anyway, I found some big mistakes…
    1. “Todays Poll is” – Problem, I thought that this publication was publish more then one per day?
    2. Constant use of ‘MSN talk’, like, ‘Kinda’, ‘lol’, ‘Todays Poll i’ and more…
    3. “I recommend them to anyone who is
    actually making something good.” So… why do you have it then?
    4. “Article Continued on next page” umm…But the article continued a paragraph later, not on another page…
    5. “Today’s victim is Tdub.” two things wrong with that!
    6. “Shame on you Tdub!
    Shame on you! It would be best if you disconnected your internet, so no one would know you exist.” Maybe that is an idea for you Nate!….No really, I’m not joking….
    7 “You make me sick!” and I am sure you make a LOT more people sick with this shit.
    8. “Just because of that site, I will not be
    interviewing anyone in this magazine.” Or because no one in there right mind would EVER do an interview with you!
    9. “Well YoYogames is getting better and better. According to GMTech’s interview with Sandy.
    Sandy plans to have good GM games become commercial. He has the money to do it. The
    competitions gives out money, but a game that is sold commercially is probably better. I’m sorry for
    getting you alls hopes up, but Super Mario V. Sega will most likely not be on this list. All fangames
    are illegal, so watch it. If you did not know that, then disreguard this update, because you are too
    nooby to even be considered. Thanks.” Well… First off, Nate, it is not Sandy’s personal money – you idiot! and secondly, fan games are not illegal.
    10. “PREVIEWS! […] CrimeLife 3″…..Yeah… ummm…. I won’t bother with this.

    11. “The game has multiple fighting areas, but
    there is a huge flaw to this game demo. No
    Single-Player Mode! Now this would be cool, but
    the multilayer mode is basically a LAN, use only.
    Single-player is being added, but enemy ai in a
    fighting game is hard to create.” hahha, you are such an idiot nate! hahah, Oh, and it’s not hard at all, maybe for a ‘noob’, like yourself.

    Does anyone else get the urge to slap Nate to normality? Or..in this case, to death? 😀

    Seriously, I’m not even going to continue, it would take up WAY to much room, and I could honesty keep going for another 40 or so more points.

    -Matt

  7. Broxter says:

    Sounds like a terrible issue. 🙁
    I wonder what HCGs next journalistic venture will be. 😀

  8. Drazzke says:

    Great job, KC LC for closing his topic on the GMC.
    This guy has obviously no idea what he’s talking about and doesn’t know how to write.

    T-Dub is a great GM user, and Interview Game Makers is probably one of the best GM sites around at this time.

    I’m not looking forward to any more of his magazines.

  9. T-Dub says:

    I would like to thank HCG for featuring me in his magazine.

    I only returned to him what he was trying to give to me. He was talking about how he is the best EVER at making 3D graphics. And he goes on about saying he’s the best game maker ever.

  10. NAL says:

    By the way, he’s apparently edited the Flame War bit out of the magazine to try to make up for it.

    http://willhostforfood.com/?Action=download&fileid=46148

    There’s the unedited version 😀

  11. Timoi says:

    Well done KCLC for closing the GMC topic!

  12. NAL says:

    I’m one of the admins of Interview Game Makers, which he flamed in this issue. Amusingly, for several days HCG was hassling me, trying to get me to interview him. 🙂 Tdub is also pretty good, I know him fairly well in the GM world – unsurprisingly his GM skills easily surpass HCG’s.

    Direly written, looks pathetic, full of errors and unwanted opinions, extremely biased, amusing to read purely because it’s so awful, and carrying no redeeming features whatsoever. So for HCG, it’s alright.

  13. Mattthew_H says:

    ‘we have some good news’ […] ‘We will not be providing a January 2008 issue’ – Well, that is good news 🙂

  14. Tom Russell says:

    “We are strong believers that January of 2009 would not be a very good month for online game magazines.”

    Well, I can’t blame you for thinking that, as the fifth issue of the Quarterly comes out that month and who would want to compete with it? 😉

    Kidding, of course. While I’m justly proud of my magazine (and its next issue!), I don’t pretend that I’m some kind of, erm, prodigy.

  15. Danny says:

    And the most humorous post of 2009 goes to…Tuntis! Way to make a fool of yourself Nate. Thumbs down to nate thumbs up to Tuntis.

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