Blast Waves: A Game So Good it hurts


Let’s talk about Blast Waves. It’s a game where time only moves when you move. Kind of like when you’re playing hide and seek, and you’re convinced that if you don’t move, they can’t see you.

Now, Blast Waves is a tactical arcade shooter. It’s so tactical, it makes a game of checkers look like a game of… well, checkers. And it’s so arcade, it makes the claw machine look like a vending machine.

The game boasts hundreds of weapons, armor types, and gadgets to unlock. I haven’t seen this many unlockables since I lost my diary key in middle school.

In Blast Waves, you start as a fresh recruit and rapidly gain new weapons and abilities. It’s like the first day of school, but instead of textbooks, you get laser guns.

The game has a rogue-like Survival Mode. You know it’s rogue-like because, just like my rogue little brother, it keeps taking all my stuff and leaving me with nothing.

Survivors become permanently playable as clone squad commanders. It’s like if Star Wars had a playdate with Minecraft. And that playdate was supervised by Super Mario.

The game also features a Command Mode, which is an auto battler. It’s so automatic, it makes my automatic toothbrush look like a regular toothbrush.

There are six unique biomes with destructible terrain and distinct environmental challenges. It’s like a field trip to six different planets, but at least there’s no pop quiz at the end.

So, if you’re into games that are more challenging than finding Waldo in a candy cane factory, give Blast Waves a shot. Just remember, in this game, every shot counts. Kind of like when you’re trying to toss a paper ball into the trash can from across the room.

Remember folks, it’s all fun and games until someone loses a game. Then it’s just fun. Find another game.

What do you think?

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