Introduction:
The gang is huddled around Glenn’s computer, browsing the Steam reviews for “Starfield.”
Glenn: “Alright, let’s see what the gamers think about ‘Starfield.'”
Rob: “I bet it’s all praise. The game’s been hyped for ages!”
Charlie: “Or maybe they’ve uncovered the hidden truths.”
Kaitlin: “It’s just game reviews, Charlie. But some of these comments are… unique.”
Danny: “Ah, the good old days of reading game magazines.”
Scene 1: The Funny Comments
Rob: “Listen to this one: ‘Can’t wait to bump into my character from Skyrim that got launched into outer space by a giant.’ Classic!”
Charlie: “I knew it! Skyrim and Starfield are connected!”
Kaitlin: (to the viewers) “Every time. Every single time we look at a game, Charlie thinks there’s a conspiracy.”
Danny: “Remember when games were just games?”
Glenn: “Here’s another: ‘Imagine you launch your ship for the first time… wake up as a prisoner on a cart.’ Sounds familiar?”
Rob: “A nod to Skyrim? I love it!”
Charlie: “It’s all connected. The universe, the games, everything!”
Kaitlin: “It’s just a joke, Charlie. Calm down.”
Danny: “Ah, the memories of being a prisoner on a cart.”
Glenn: “And this one: ‘For every star, there is a field.’ Deep.”
Rob: “Sounds poetic.”
Charlie: “It’s a prophecy!”
Kaitlin: “It’s just a review, Charlie.”
Danny: “Ah, the days when reviews were simple.”
Glenn: “Here’s a funny one: ‘No Man’s Skyrim.'”
Rob: “A crossover I’d love to see!”
Charlie: “Maybe it’s a hint for the next game.”
Kaitlin: “Or maybe it’s just a joke.”
Danny: “Remember when jokes were just jokes?”
Scene 2: The Mixed Bag
Glenn: “This one’s interesting: ‘Overall, early game is too slow, forced Paragon characters are annoying, lots of bugs… some gamebreaking.'”
Rob: “Sounds like they need to patch things up.”
Charlie: “Or maybe it’s all intentional. A test for the true gamers.”
Kaitlin: (to the viewers) “A test? Really? Why do I even bother?”
Danny: “Back in my day, you played the game, bugs and all.”
Rob: “And this one: ‘Returned/refunded.’ Wow, some people.”
Charlie: “I bet it’s a secret message.”
Kaitlin: “It’s just a review, Charlie. Not everything is a secret message.”
Danny: “Ah, the simpler times.”
Glenn: “Here’s another: ‘reminded me that I own No Mans Sky.'”
Rob: “Sounds like someone’s got a backlog!”
Charlie: “Or maybe it’s a clue to a hidden feature.”
Kaitlin: “It’s just a review, Charlie.”
Danny: “Remember when we just played games and didn’t analyze everything?”
Scene 3: The Deep Thoughts
Glenn: “Here’s a deep one: ‘Born too late to explore Earth. Born too soon to explore the galaxy. Born just in time to be gaslit by Todd.'”
Rob: “Who’s Todd?”
Charlie: “The mastermind behind it all!”
Kaitlin: (to the viewers) “Todd Howard. The game developer. Why am I the only one who knows this?”
Danny: “Ah, the mysteries of life and gaming.”
Rob: “And this: ‘Do NOT play this game on a hard drive. This game absolutely requires an SSD.’ Tech advice!”
Charlie: “Or maybe it’s a clue to the next big thing.”
Kaitlin: “It’s just tech advice, Charlie. Not everything is a clue.”
Danny: “Remember when games just worked on any system?”
Glenn: “And this one: ‘Nobody reads these anyways so I’ll just say I robbed an amazon employee and stole his copy of the game.'”
Rob: “That’s… bold.”
Charlie: “It’s a secret code!”
Kaitlin: “Or maybe it’s just a joke.”
Danny: “Ah, the days when reviews were just for fun.”
Conclusion:
Glenn: “So, thoughts on the ‘Starfield’ reviews?”
Rob: “Mixed bag, but I’m still excited.”
Charlie: “I need to uncover the secrets.”
Kaitlin: (to the viewers) “There are no secrets. It’s just a game.”
Danny: “Ah, the good old days of simple reviews.”
Credits/Outro:
Glenn: “Thanks for diving into the reviews with us, folks! Until next time.”
Rob: “Stay gaming!”
Charlie: “And stay curious.”
Kaitlin: “It’s just a game, Charlie. Just a game.”
Danny: “Keep it retro, folks!”
