Crashlands is about the biggest game ever made



The gang is gathered around Glenn’s computer, watching the Crashlands trailer.

Glenn: “Alright, this is ‘Crashlands.’ It’s an adventure-crafting RPG. Looks wild!”

Rob:Crafting? Like, making stuff?”

Charlie: “Like arts and crafts? I once made a macaroni necklace.”

Kaitlin: “Not that kind of crafting, Charlie.”

Danny: “Oh, so it’s like those other games where you spend hours organizing your inventory? Fun times.”

Scene 1: Crafting Chaos

Rob: “So, we can craft resources into weaponry and tame alien beasts? Sounds epic!”

Charlie: “I want to tame a beast and name it ‘Fluffy.'”

Kaitlin: “It’s not a pet simulator, Charlie. It’s about survival.”

Danny: “Survival? Back in my day, we just had two buttons and a joystick. None of this crafting nonsense.”

Glenn: “Look at this! You can use bombs to harvest and even control time and space!”

Rob: “Time and space? That’s deep.”

Charlie: “Can I use it to go back in time and eat my breakfast again?”

Kaitlin: “Why would you want to do that?”

Danny: “Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day, obviously.”

Scene 2: Inventory Insanity

Glenn: “The best part? No inventory management! Everything you need, right when you need it.”

Rob: “That sounds convenient.”

Charlie: “So, where do all the items go? Another dimension?”

Kaitlin: “It’s just a game mechanic, Charlie. Don’t overthink it.”

Danny: “Ah, the good old days when you had to manually sort through your items. Kids these days have it easy.”

Rob: “You’re just salty because you always lost your items.”

Danny: “Hey, that was one time! And it was a glitch!”

Charlie: “I once lost my socks in another dimension.”

Kaitlin: “That was the washing machine, Charlie.”

Scene 3: Base-building Banter

Glenn: “Check this out! We can build our base. And it’s easy, like finger painting.”

Rob: “I was never good at finger painting.”

Charlie: “Can we build a base made of macaroni?”

Kaitlin: “Why are you so obsessed with macaroni today?”

Danny: “Probably because it’s the only thing he can cook.”

Rob: “I want a base with lasers and traps!”

Charlie: “And a room for Fluffy!”

Kaitlin: “We’re not getting a beast named Fluffy.”

Danny: “And a room where I can store all my old game cartridges. You know, for nostalgia.”


Glenn: “So, what do we think? Ready to dive into Crashlands?”

Rob: “I’m in! Let’s craft some epic gear!”

Charlie: “And tame Fluffy!”

Kaitlin: “It’s not about Fluffy, Charlie!”

Danny: “I’ll play, but only if there’s a tutorial. I’m not about to spend hours figuring things out.”

What do you think?

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